once there was a time when i was an outcast.
the outcasts of outcasts, i spent my days alone, swearing i would never be an outcast had i my chance to start again.

so i got my chance and it's amazing what will power can do. i went from the outcasts of outcasts to the top of the food chain.

and you know it's not your imagination when people in summer camp already know about you even before summer camp, and they go, "oh, they told me about you!"

the top of the social food chain is nice, i won't deny it. everyone's happy to see you, and they're honored to be graced by your prescence. it certainly goes to your head when you get paid to look pretty at an event.

but then i looked around and realized i was still an outcast. only this time, i was an outcast whom everybody began to hate.

i was an outcast before but i had real friends. they pitied me, that's why they befriended me, but they were real friends.

you know how when there's something wrong, you pick up the phone and call your bestfriend?

i have to decide which friend to call. i have to put a front for each of them and they're only allowed to know a part of me.

i liked myself better before. i liked myself before a lot better than i do now.

give me back my boyfriend t-shirt (extra large shirts),give me back my acne (yes.), give me back my fat (yes,i mean it. okay, maybe i don't. i mean it metaphorically. which shows how wrong i still am) give me back the girl who was closer to God. i like her better than this stranger whose body i am now forced to inhibit.